{"product_id":"retired-not-my-problem-anymore-hoodie-lifes-too-short-to-pretend-thhd080604","title":"\"Retired – Not My Problem Anymore\" Hoodie | Life's Too Short to Pretend","description":"\u003ch2 data-section-id=\"1bw7wp4\" data-start=\"159\" data-end=\"181\" class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003eProduct Description\u003cspan aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchor\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eRetired. Not My Problem. Anymore.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eSay it again. And again. And again. Because it feels that good. Not here. Not now. Not worried. Not my problem. That's not just a statement – it's a lifestyle. And you've earned every single word of it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eThis hoodie is for the ones who've finally hung it up. Who've traded the alarm clock for coffee on the porch. Who've stopped pretending and started living. DO WHAT YOU WANT. IDC. Retired. And loving it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eLife's too short to pretend. You're done pretending. Now you're just living.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eWhy You'll Love This Hoodie:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eCozy \u0026amp; Comfortable:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eSoft fleece lining that keeps you warm on those lazy retirement mornings – perfect for coffee, naps, and doing absolutely nothing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eClassic Fit:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eRelaxed, roomy silhouette that layers easily. True to size – comfy but not sloppy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eKangaroo Pocket:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eFront pouch pocket to keep your hands warm or hold your reading glasses, remote, or dog treats.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eAdjustable Hood:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eDrawstring hood for when the wind blows – or when you just want to cozy up and ignore the world.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eEveryday Essential:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eThrow it on any day of the week – because they all feel like Saturday now.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eWhat This Hoodie Says:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\"RETIRED. NOT MY PROBLEM. ANYMORE.\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– The headline. The mantra. The best three sentences you'll ever say.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\"NOT HERE · NOT NOW · NOT WORRIED · NOT MY PROBLEM\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– The four promises of retirement. None of the old stuff. All of the new freedom.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\"DO WHAT YOU WANT\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Repeated. Because it's worth repeating. You earned the right.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\"IDC\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– I Don't Care. Short. Sweet. To the point.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\"RETIRE \/ RETIRED\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Stacked like a chant. A celebration. A declaration.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\"LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO PRETEND\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– The final word. The truth. You're done pretending. You're just living.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eWho Is This For?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eThey're the ones who:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e✔ Has finally retired – and is loving every second\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e✔ No longer cares about other people's drama, deadlines, or opinions\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e✔ Has traded \"I should\" for \"I want to\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e✔ Wakes up when they wake up – not when the alarm says to\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e✔ Knows that \"not my problem\" is the most beautiful phrase in the English language\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eThe Retired Life Reality:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e✔ Monday? Tuesday? Who cares.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e✔ Someone else's problem? Not yours.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e✔ Schedule? What schedule.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e✔ Stress? Retired from that too.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e✔ Happiness? Through the roof. (The roof you don't have to fix anymore.)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eWhy You Need This Hoodie:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003ePure Joy:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eThis hoodie captures exactly what retirement feels like – and it feels great.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eGreat Gift:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eFor the newly retired friend, the long-retired parent, or yourself.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eQuality You Can Count On:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eSoft fleece. Clean print. Cozy hoodie construction. Made for all seven of your weekends.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eRetirees who are loving life\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eRetirement gifts – the hoodie they'll actually wear\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eAnyone who's finally stopped caring about other people's circus\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eLazy mornings, coffee runs, and doing absolutely nothing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eSpecs:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eStyle:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eClassic Pullover Hoodie – relaxed, cozy, and endlessly wearable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(Adjust) Soft cotton-poly fleece blend – warm and breathable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eFit:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eTrue to size with a relaxed silhouette\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003ePocket:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eFront kangaroo pocket\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eHood:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eAdjustable drawstring hood\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eSizes:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eS – 4XL\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eCare:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low. Like retirement, it only gets better with time.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eFinal Word:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eRetired. Not my problem. Anymore. Not here. Not now. Not worried. Not my problem. Do what you want. IDC. Life's too short to pretend.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003eYou earned this. Now wear it. And never pretend again.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e🕊️😎☕\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"me2workshop","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":44796594782286,"sku":"thhd080604-White-S","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":44796594815054,"sku":"thhd080604-White-M","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":44796594847822,"sku":"thhd080604-White-L","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":44796594880590,"sku":"thhd080604-White-XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":44796594913358,"sku":"thhd080604-White-2XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":44796594946126,"sku":"thhd080604-White-3XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":44796594978894,"sku":"thhd080604-White-4XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":44796595011662,"sku":"thhd080604-Black-S","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":44796595044430,"sku":"thhd080604-Black-M","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":44796595077198,"sku":"thhd080604-Black-L","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":44796595109966,"sku":"thhd080604-Black-XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":44796595142734,"sku":"thhd080604-Black-2XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":44796595175502,"sku":"thhd080604-Black-3XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":44796595208270,"sku":"thhd080604-Black-4XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":44796595241038,"sku":"thhd080604-Grey-S","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ M","offer_id":44796595273806,"sku":"thhd080604-Grey-M","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ L","offer_id":44796595306574,"sku":"thhd080604-Grey-L","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ XL","offer_id":44796595339342,"sku":"thhd080604-Grey-XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":44796595372110,"sku":"thhd080604-Grey-2XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":44796595404878,"sku":"thhd080604-Grey-3XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":44796595437646,"sku":"thhd080604-Grey-4XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ S","offer_id":44796595470414,"sku":"thhd080604-Pink-S","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ M","offer_id":44796595503182,"sku":"thhd080604-Pink-M","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ L","offer_id":44796595535950,"sku":"thhd080604-Pink-L","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ XL","offer_id":44796595568718,"sku":"thhd080604-Pink-XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 2XL","offer_id":44796595601486,"sku":"thhd080604-Pink-2XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ 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